Skip to main content

Melancholy!

I cry because I’m sad
Or ...
I’m sad because I cry
I'm not aware of the difference
I don't know if there is a difference
God, I’d give anything to be stronger
I’d give it all up to just not crumble
I wish more than anything not to have to try to keep it all together
I’m postured in a state of defeat
I try to remember the motivating words
Try to recite the uplifting scriptures
They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength
Weeping may endure for a night...joy comes in the morning
Yet, my beating heart throbs
My core feels bruised
And my soul feels weakened
I can’t see pass the right now
The light doesn’t shine for me
The tunnel is closed.
Liken to Dunbar’s verse…I too wear a mask!
2011 ®
 

Comments

  1. TJNovember 11, 2011 at 5:43 PM

    Very nice. I think many can relate. Don't stop sharing. It is very therapeutic.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Year and a Day

A year ago, I couldn’t fathom how I would make it to this day October 5th...the day after October 4 th … the day my life changed forever…the day where I began to question everything I thought I knew, the day where my future began to look hazy…the day consistency was broken, and my one constant since life began was gone. I couldn't even comprehend the idea of living in a world without my father...and I still can't. But let me tell you, God's grace is sufficient and sustaining. It carries me even when I don't feel it, especially on those days where I question him, and I don’t understand his plan. There will always be an emptiness in my heart, and I will never seek to fill it. That space is reserved just for Daddy. 
Post a Comment
Read more

We Do Know...

So many times when someone dies (particularly expectantly) you here someone say, "You never know" or "You just never know"... but the truth is we do! We do know that tomorrow is not promised, that life can change in a blink of an eye. We know that the last time you see someone may be the last time. We know life is short. We know people can leave us at any moment. We do know...we just forget...
Post a Comment
Read more

Inner Conflict

What are these tears? Where is my laughter? From what place has this pain arisen? This trivial throbbing, gnawing, infuriating impair in my head. It dances in and overwhelms me. Pinching off bit by bit My since of reason, normalcy, and sanity. They have real pain. They know real anguish. They create new definitions to the word devastation. But they keep going out of obligation and pride. But I, I, tremble … Breaking at the mere initiation or occurrence of sadness. Holding my tears under the eye lids And imprisoning the screams in my throat. A release would offer an insult to the bearers of valid sadness. A suitable response for my hurt would be a simple shaking of the head, But my burdensome response is fear and helplessness. I feel the need to apologize to those who’ve endured deeper cuts. Therefore I will smile and convince myself with hollow reassurances Empty promises and void wisdom… To say…I’m okay.
Post a Comment
Read more